Rainbow flagI read today that Billy Crystal thinks gay scenes on TV are ‘going too far’. “Excuse me?” I thought, reading the headline, but then tried to hold back my anger until I’d gotten a bit more context.

Context didn’t help.

He said some same-sex scenes aren’t ‘too his taste’, and while I can fully appreciate people not wanting to see some things — excessive violence, rape, and so — and not everyone can be politically correct and understanding and loving the whole time, I think my anger is justified.

Let’s look at what is likely to be in these same-sex scenes on TV. Unless you’re watching pornography on said-television, you won’t see penetration. You won’t even see a penis.

What you will see are two people of the same sex kissing, rubbing and suggesting. Queer as Folk was about as explicit as you’re going to get (and that was on TV a long time ago). Now it’s all arse shots, some grunting and groaning and hands going south. (Can you detect my disappointment?)

Whereas let’s look at if from what I see on TV.

I see boobs. Lots of boobs. I also see vaginas. I see more opposite-sex sex scenes than same-sex scenes. It’s practically rammed down my throat. When I watch Game of Thrones, it’s basically a contest between how many people get slaughtered and how many boobs are exposed.

Don’t get me wrong. Boobs are lovely. Gay men LOVE boobs. But they’re not our favourite things in the whole wide world. We also wouldn’t expect there to be no boobs because we don’t have a sexual preference for them. But let’s take it back a step further.

Do you know what I see on TV a lot of? Opposite-sex people kissing. It’s constant, and ranges the full gamut from a little peck to a massive snog, tongue and all. In close-up. Hell, even in 3D. What I rarely see is two men, or even rarer two women, kissing.

Even in a show like Modern Family, which is lauded (I’m sure, somewhere, but I don’t know where) for its ‘diversity’, rarely (I think once and probably at their wedding) shows Cameron and Mitchell kiss on the lips or do anything other than touch each other’s shoulders once in a while. Claire and Phil? No doubt there that something’s going on in the bedroom. There are even episodes about it. Cam and Mitchell are asexual as far as I can tell.

But back to Crystal, who’s probably regretting ever giving that interview (especially considering he played one of the first regular gay characters on TV in THE SEVENTIES, so genuine round of applause there), who said ‘I hope people don’t abuse it and shove it in our face to the point where it feels like an everyday kind of thing.’

Because my gayness is something that comes out only on special occasions. (note my snarkiness)

Here’s an idea: if it were seen as an everyday thing, then you wouldn’t have teenagers committing suicide at a staggering rate because they are, or FEAR, that they’re gay. You wouldn’t have children being kicked out of home because their parents can’t accept them. You wouldn’t have gay-bashing. You wouldn’t have all the other horrible things that happen to queer people around the world because being gay would be an everyday thing.

You know what is an everyday thing? Homophobia. And it’s real, ugly and deadly. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s enough hate and violence in the world that we would want to less, not more, homophobia, in whatever form it takes.

Crystal is not the sole focus of my anger. He’s just voicing the things that a million other homophobes (whether they consider themselves that or not) say everyday to their friends and families, to strangers (!!!) on the bus, on the street, because they feel threatened.

So you know what, I hope the backlash is strong against Crystal. I hope he BEGS for the public’s forgiveness and there’s some insightful commentary in the media about why what he said was wrong and hurtful and damaging to gay people everywhere. Because someone needs to call him—and others who think the same—on this kind of thing. If not, it’ll just keep happening.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going for a walk.