In my eternal struggle to declutter, I recently threw out a lot of old school books and papers. My family had kept three boxes full of exercise books and subject notes, which got passed over to me during their own clear-out. While going through it all, I came across a gem – a story I’d written in primary school called Jack, Rapunzel, Hair and Combs.

I’ve transcribed it here for your amusement. It has everything: an intrusive narrator, massive gaps in the storyline, and a dead boy. I’m pleased to say that my writing has improved since I was eight or nine (though having said that, I still got an A+ and a sticker).

Without any further preamble, I present to you…

Jack, Rapunzel, Hair and Combs

Once upon a time there lived a boy called Jack and he lived with his mother, or was it his mother lived with him? Anyway, back to the story. They were poor, very poor, very very poor. His mother sent him to the market to sell Daisy, their cow. I don’t know how they had a cow if they were poor. Well, back to the story.

On his way to the place where they sell cows, he was stopped by an old man. The old man asked Jack to exchange the cow for three long strands of hair. Being the stupid boy that he is, he swapped.

When he got home his mother yelled at him and told him to go to the kitchen and cook some dinner. If you’re wondering what he was cooking, don’t ask. His mother threw the hairs out the window. She then went to dinner. After his mother and he had gone to bed, the hairs started to grow into a …

Next morning when Jack got up, he saw a comb outside the window, which was huge in length. Jack decided to climb the comb and see what was in the clouds. Jack stayed at the top of the comb where he saw a tower with hair hanging out of it. How the tower just didn’t fall out of the clouds, I don’t know, but back to the story.

Jack climbed back down the comb to get something for the girl whose name was Rapunzel. When he got back up the comb, the breeze was quite strong and blew the hair over to Jack. He grabbed onto the hair. Jack climbed up it and then there was a big SNIP and Jack was still holding onto the hair.

He plummeted to Earth, just going through the clouds and then splat, he landed on the pavement all flat. At Jack’s funeral there was the old man and he placed three long strands of hair on his grave.

What treasures have you found?