I paid money to see this? 3 times I didn’t get my money’s worth at the theatre

Going to the theatre is an investment, not just in money (because some of those tickets are definitely NOT cheap) but also in time and effort. It’s a full-on experience.

There’s the choosing of the show, getting the best seats and purchasing the tickets. 

Then when it’s time to go you have to get dressed, sort out dinner plans (before or after or both), transport, parking, getting to the theatre, squeezing into your seat and after all that, after you’re all ready and excited and want to have your hopes and dreams fulfilled about what you have given up at least a few hours of your life for, there’s nothing worse than a show that doesn’t deliver.

More than the cost of the tickets (which can sting) there’s a feeling of betrayal that comes along. All the reviews said this was great, or the fact that it’s even showing on Broadway MUST mean it’s worthwhile. WRONG!

So, while I’ve had the pleasure of seeing some fantastic shows, there have been some doozies. And now you’re going to hear about them.

Spiderman

Yep, you read right. Spiderman. I have willingly paid money to go watch a performance of Spiderman: the Musical on Broadway. This is not a joke.

It was back in about 2013 or 2014, we were in New York with a friend, and out of EVERY OTHER THING WE COULD HAVE SEEN we chose Spiderman. (I will throw my friend under a bus here as it was mostly on his preference than ours. He still brings it up to this day.)

Luckily, it was over the road from the hotel so we didn’t have to go far. We had reasonable seats though there were plenty to choose from. It started. 

There were some songs which were not memorable and largely sucked. 

There were some pretty cool aerial acrobatics (and luckily this was not during a performance where someone was seriously injured)

The plot was vaguely Spiderman but it was an origin story so we’d seen that about ten times already so that was definitely not something new.

The first act ended and all three of us looked at each other and came to the same conclusion: it sucked. It sucked SO BAD.

Luckily there was an interval so Glen and I said we should leave but our friend wanted to stay so rather than argue and risk getting trapped there, Glen and I left and wandered around New York for a few hours.

I don’t know if you’ve ever walked out of a live performance but there is something so rebellious about it. I’ve only done it a few times but not once have I regretted it. Yes, I paid money to see it and haven’t had the full experience but at that point, not poisoning my mind further is far more important.

When the musical finished and we caught up with our friend, we asked for the recap. It didn’t get any better, in fact I think it got worse. Definitely no regrets after that.

(I think they even had this scene in it but it wasn’t nearly as good.)

It’s Only a Play

Unfortunately it wasn’t a very good one despite the STELLAR cast that was assembled. I saw an ad for this when it first premiered on Broadway. 

I was living in Toronto at the time and couldn’t believe who was in it: Stockard Channing, Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Megan Mullally, Rupert Grint and others.What a treat!

It then happened that I was going to be in New York with a friend and we got tickets to see it. We rocked up only to be told the Megan Mullally and Nathan Lane wouldn’t be in the show that afternoon. We were offered refunds but there were still some big names so we were keen.

We stayed. We watched. And while it kind of worked up until a point, there’s a moment in the play where it just falls apart and has to limp towards the ending. It completely loses air and I left feeling deflated about the whole thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED seeing Stockard Channing on stage, she was a real highlight, and Rupert Grint was great, but the play itself just didn’t feel like it worked. Despite this, it was called a “megasellar” and made back it’s $3.9 million capitalization, no doubt helped along by its big names. Without them, I don’t think it would have done so well.

Seven Deadly Sins Four Deadly Sinners

An anthology-play that premiered in 2003 and was written by Carry On… writer Norman Hudis. I enjoyed the Carry On films as a kid (though now I’d probably cringe). I saw this play with my husband, mum and dad.

Here’s how it’s pitched: “An anthology evening of Wicked Comedy, Heavenly Drama, Devilishly Tall Tales, Enchanting Poetry and Seductive Stories starring Four Deadly Beautiful Temptresses, who will enlighten you on how to survive, or even live by, the Seven Deadly Sins!”

The problem is it’s all a bit boring. I can’t really remember much of what was said as it was over 12 years ago since I’ve seen it, and I remember finding it really strange that the actors were reading from big books while sitting on high chairs on stage. Not all that engaging and all a bit…twee.

This was another play where we walked out during the intermission, the first ever for me, my mum and my dad. How naughty we felt! Though the hot chocolate and cake we had instead were great.

All this brings me to something that I hope won’t bring you tears…the release of my new book Set the Stage, which takes place in the Rivervue Community Theatre…

He’s the Banksy of the international theatre scene – daring, anonymous, renowned. So when playwright ‘Draven’ bequeaths his latest play to the rural Rivervue Theatre, the stage is set for drama.