Today I’m interviewing the other half of vampire duo, Thierry d’Arjou. Just to give you a bit of background, Thierry is the quieter, gentler half of the Thierry and Olivier combo. His lover, Etienne, was killed just before Thierry was turned into a vampire.
That must have been an awful thing to happen.
I said, that must have been an —
I heard you the first time. I didn’t spot a question in there.
Oh, how did that make you feel?
Anything else? (I’m trying to paint you in a positive light here, Thierry.)
So kind. Etienne died all because of my brother’s obsession with me. Etienne was the only thing I had that was mine while in Carcassonne. He had my heart and he had my soul. He brought me happiness and comfort, while back home all I had were insanity, brutality and a lot of butchery. Losing him took most of my humanity and took my interest in this world, replacing it with an eternity with my brother. Not much of a trade, I must say.
The relationship you have with your brother. Do you think that’s normal?
You’re talking to a vampire and you ask me if Olivier and I are normal?
You know what I mean.
He sighs. We’re brothers. Rivalry is an inherent part of that relationship. Same goes for any family relationship. Plenty of siblings argue with each other. Some never talk to them once they can get away from them. I didn’t speak to Olivier for more than a hundred years. Good times.
I was talking more about a sexual relationship.
Then you’re misinformed. The only thing that’s going on there is Olivier wants it and I’d rather die.
Fine. But you’re not entirely against sex are you? I mean with people in general.
I think my history speaks for itself, don’t you? I enjoy sex as much as the next vampire. The difference being is that Olivier will jump on anything, while I’m a bit more selective. In truth, there’s only one man I want. Sex with him is beyond anything else I’ve experienced. Mind you, waiting centuries will sharpen a man’s appetite.
Do you prefer to top or bottom?
You expect me to answer that?
Olivier will talk about sex at any opportunity, all with the design to get whoever he’s talking to into bed. So you tell me, was he successful?
Right, moving on.
Look, I’m not the one being interviewed here.
But this is what you like, isn’t it? The unexpected? Where things don’t go the way you’d planned but somehow turn out all right?
Well, yes, but people reading want to know about you, not me.
Thierry rolls his eyes. You’re not as good at misdirection as you think you are.
Being a vampire: curse or blessing?
Being human: curse or blessing?
I didn’t get to choose to be a human.
And I didn’t get to choose to be a vampire! If I had, I would have picked death. I would have died in that forest with Etienne and been at peace, whether there is an afterlife or not. But I wasn’t given that choice.
Instead I was chosen to live forever, drinking the blood of humans, causing death wherever I went. And tied to Olivier for centuries.
You could have ended it. Why didn’t you?
A sense of duty, and a promise to my sister. If it wasn’t for her, I would have. Plus it’s awfully difficult to end a vampire’s life when they’re not in the process of making another.
Lucky you were unsuccessful, right? Considering what happens to you.
Are you always so tight-lipped?
Around people I can’t be bothered with, yes.
Olivier’s much more fun than you.
People tell me that a lot. Right before he kills them.
Well, I think we’ll end it there. Good luck, Thierry. You’re going to need it.